Storms Brewing

Hello Everyone!

So it's official-I am only going to blog once a week. Tuesdays it is! I'm slightly relieved that I am too busy to blog often, but the reality is that I am too lazy :) Oh well.

The good-I picked up my wedding veil from Kleinfeld this week! And it is absolutely perfect.

The bad-apparently, the trip to NYC right on the heels of a Very Busy Week was too much for my immune system to take, and I am SIIIIIICK. It's bad. I was in bed all weekend. I had to cancel several things and I felt bad about it. I did feel good, in a way, that I had things to cancel. Sometimes I feel like I don't have much a of a life here in Boston, and it's always nice to have a reminder that I have, in fact, made a bit of a life for myself here.

It's been awhile since I've been this sick, like, stay in bed all day sick. It's humbling to acknowledge that our bodies are as imperfect as our souls are. They wear out when they are not properly cared for, and they will shut down if they don't get what they need. A forced shutdown was exactly what I needed, though, and I am strangely glad of it. It certainly helps it was raining ALL week. Nice to stay in bed when it's cloudy and awful outside. It was sort of nice to have a "time out" for a while-I only wish it was under better circumstances. I hope that I've learned from this, so that I don't wind up here again. Let's see if I make good on my resolution to take better care of my body. Keep your fingers crossed!

In that vein, I've stocked the fridge with tons of fruit and other healthy things. I am taking a stab at cutting out processed foods as much as I can. It's expensive and time-consuming to actually cook food (who knew?) but I figure if not now, when? I'm trying to tell myself that natural food is so delicious that I don't need to eat tons of it, and that this is how I'm supposed to eat. Again, we'll see how long this lasts.

I feel like everything in my life is "wait and see" right now. I am so, so heartbroken about something that happened in church this week. Tom and I have been going to this wonderful, loving church that has made us feel accepted and welcomed. I am part of a homeless outreach group that I absolutely ADORE, and I've made some real friends. I've felt like a hole in my heart I didn't know existed had been filled. Well, up until now.

This Sunday, our pastor, who Tom and I really admire and respect, announced that a speaker was going to share testimony about a really important and special ministry of the church. A woman stood and shared about Christ Alive ministries, who help people "suffering from same sex attraction free themselves from temptation". She went on to say that same sex attraction is just temptation, but that temptation can be overcome with prayer and counseling. I don't know what she said after that, because Tom and I walked out.

I felt betrayed. I am still reeling. How could this place I've come to think of as my spiritual home advocate such a toxic thing? There is absolutely no scientific evidence that homosexuals can change their orientation. What there is overwhelming evidence of is the fact that efforts to try to change one's orientation can be incredibly harmful and detrimental. With gay teen suicide rates 4 times higher than straight teens, why oh WHY does ANYONE think telling people they can supress their orientation is okay?

It's so insidious because the message is not even "you can stop being gay", it's "you can keep your gayness in check". What kind of a life is the church, MY church, advocating for its people? I have been sad and wounded all week thinking about this, but as I type I am getting outraged. How dare they?

We've been struggling with whether or not to leave this congregation. Like I said, we enjoy many wonderful things there-our pastoral counselor is from that church, the Thursday night group, and the fellowship-but I just can't stomach the idea of going there for guidance ever again. When I posted about this on facebook, many of you posted thoughtful and helpful responses. I have written a letter to the senior pastor, telling him I was troubled about this and that I wanted to talk to him about it. We'll see how he reacts. I don't see any way that we will be able to still attend, but I do hope so very much that I will be able to air my grievances to him. I don't want to shout or be rude (relax, Tom, I won't cause a scene) but I do want to let them know that MY God is the God of LOVE and I can't stay at a church where LOVE is not the governing principle. I am just heartsick over this. I don't really know what to do. Tom and I have been praying over it, and we can't make up our minds. So, that's a big downer right now. Sorry to unload it on you all, but I just can't believe that this is STILL going on in 2012, in the liberal bastion of the nation, Massachusetts. Blows my mind.

On a much lighter and happier note, I am going to DC this weekend for Part 1 of my bachelorette party!! My old GG&SS friends are throwing me a bash at the Billy Goat, the holy grail of law school party bars. Many brilliant cast parties took place there and I almost remember all of them :) I have an inexplicable fondness for the place, in spite of (or perhaps because of) its unsavory character. Since I am as a rule a rather straight-laced, serious person, it's delightful to know there's a bar where dubious decisions are practically guaranteed, but in the safest manner possible. It's what I imagine freshman year of college is like at normal colleges. (side note-in an interview today, interviewer said "I noticed you went to St. John's. That's got to be one of the greatest colleges in the United States." Woop woop!) So, hopefully the pictures will not make it to facebook, aka This Party Does Not Exist, but I am SO looking forward to seeing my lovely DC ladyfriends!!! (and some malefriends, although they are NOT invited to the bachelorette party! Girls only!)

Well, I've got work to do (yes, I know it's ten pm. Yes, I know that's why I got sick. I know. I know) so I'd better go. Sorry I haven't talked about Glee in forever. It's been really bad. I don't even know why I watch it anymore. Highlight of the past three episodes was getting to see nearly-naked Noah Puckerman. And of course, Blaine's red skinny jeans. Gosh, I love those jeans. I want to die and be reincarnated as Blaine's jeans. They are the most interesting character in Glee anymore.

See you all next week!

Love,
Laura