Showered With Love

Hi Everyone!

I am so thankful for the comments y'all have been leaving here. It's fantastic to hear from all of you!! You are so inspiring and wise. It's been an unexpected blessing of this blog, reconnecting with all of you.

As of yesterday, it's two months until the wedding, so AAH! I am so excited...for it to get here and to be over. I can't wait to have everyone I love around me (and of course, to be joined to Tom in the eyes of God), but I am so over the stress of planning! Mom is certainly bearing the brunt of all the work, so I know I'm getting off easy, but it is still a never-ending parade of vendors, with ten million questions to make "your special day PERFECT!" I would like less perfection and less questions, thank you very much. It seems to me that all of this wedding hoopla has very little to do with the actual marriage, aka The Reason This Is Happening. Still, I am confident that it's going to be lovely. I can't wait!

"Glamour" this month (anyone else HATE the new, dumbed-down format) had a feature article on whether or not women still believe in marriage. It had the startling statistic that 50% of babies are born out of wedlock nowadays. I find this all, on the whole, encouraging. I think that women waiting longer to wed is GREAT! Nobody should be rushed into marriage for financial reasons, as was the case before. I can't imagine leaving my parents' house and going directly to my husband's home. I loved my single life in my own apartment, and I would not have traded it for anything. I think that women deserve time between being daughters and wives to just be women. Being a woman is hard enough. I think there are vital self-discovery things that go on during that time, without which I know for SURE I would not be ready to be married. I wanted to be my own person before I became half of a whole, and I know that single self-knowledge time will serve me well.

The spectre of divorce looms over my generation, that's for sure. We've not only heard the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce-we've  lived it. Our friend's parents or our parents have split up, and we've grown up knowing what divorce does to families. I'm not advocating against divorce, rest assured. Sometimes things are toxic and unhealthy and divorce is much better than staying in that unsafe place "for the children". I do think, though, having seen so much divorce, women of my age are less likely to wed without really thinking about it.

So if we believe less in "happily ever after", is that really great or really bad? I can't decide. I sometimes think that the "back in my day" stuff is just bunk and there were awful marriages back then, just like now. I like the idea that things are out in the open and nobody is living with shame or fear in private. I am a huge proponent of sharing woes instead of hiding them (obviously-I'm a blogger). But, I do fear we've lost some hope, and that makes me sad. I truly believe I am marrying the love of my life. I have no illusions that things will be perfect, easy, or even pleasant sometimes. But I know who I am, I know who he is, and I know we can make it. It will require endless work but will offer endless rewards. I do believe that true love can happen and it's out there. Am I just totally naive? I don't think so. But of course, I could be wrong.

Important note: this is NOT to say that our twenties are an excuse to be a train wreck, ladies! I firmly do NOT approve of the new HBO show "Girls" (and "Tiny Furniture", the movie that spawned it) and the notion that "being real" means vomiting in one's neighbor's potted plant and doing poorly in one's job. Yes, we all have bad days. But ten years is a really long time to have a bad day. When can we have a show about women who are smart and ambitious and NOT total messes? Show me that, HBO.

Well, all this depressing talk is really just a lead in for my fabulous BRIDAL SHOWER, which happened this weekend! My lovely mother-in-law to be, as well as my sisters-to-be, really went all out to throw me a gorgeous shower. I felt a little silly, being the center of attention (really, these events are odd-you just watch someone open presents for a few hours) but I was just so humbled by all the love and blessings I received. My amazing mom surprised me and flew in my aunts! I was shocked to see them and so grateful for everyone who made that surprise happen.

The event was in the basement of Linda's church, which is just so pretty. Alicia, my BFF, and Victoria, my sister, came in from NYC for the shower, which was super-duper nice.  I can aready tell how boring this post is-it's just me saying everything was nice! But it WAS, it really was. To see all my family together, old and new, was just overwhelming. How lucky can a girl get? First I get the perfect guy, then I get the support of my family and friends...it's just so hard to come up with a single negative thought when you are literally surrounded by loved ones. I got tons of cool stuff, enjoyed my excellent company, and overall really had a fabulous day.

To top off the amazing time, I spoke last night at a Women for Obama event! Lilly Ledbetter (of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act-google her if you don't know her amazing story!) was the keynote speaker, and then I did the Obama volunteer pitch. It was so energizing and cool to be surrounded by women of all ages and backgrounds (oldest attendee is 96! And she's running for NH State Rep next term!) I can't reiterate enough how much I love, love, LOVE working for the Obama campaign. The people I have met there are out of this world. It's just an adventure and a pleasure every day.  Somebody who heard me asked me to come to her event on Friday, so if this whole blogging thing doesn't pan out, I can always go on the speaking circuit...

See you all soon! Have a wonderful week!